Changed

Change. Everyone does, just not always in a big way, sometimes it's just small little things and you hardly notice. Sometimes it's gradual but a big change. 

My friend wrote some words that related to some of the changes I'm going through that resignated so much I want to share them 

"...But for those of us who know we believed as hard as anyone can believe, lived our entire lives dedicated to seeking out and following the will of God and serving him, yet at the last had that faith ripped out of clenched and bloody hands, it is frustrating to have someone suggest we were just going along until it became inconvenient. No, what's inconvenient is having your entire belief system levelled brick by brick when you desperately want it to remain intact. It's inconvenient to lose your entire identity, to have to start all over again. It's inconvenient to know that if you tell your social circle (all Christians) you're no longer in the club, there's a good chance you will be rejected by everyone you associate with, or at least, know you may be tolerated but will always be looked upon as an outsider by family and friends. No, it's beyond inconvenient, it's terrifying."

People in my life who've never asked me why on any of my changes in beliefs (on many topics) have simply just chosen to ignore the big elephant in the room and distance themselves. I understand it's an uncomfortable topic but it hurts to think I mean that little. Or maybe they're scared of my answers, of changing with me, I don't know. I just know this sucks and there's no right answer to fix this. 

If you're courious about topics I'm willing to discuss that I've changed on here they are:

Religion/bible

LGBT rights

Children's rights/peaceful parenting 

Routine infant circumcision 

Creation/evolution 

Privilege 

Racism

Climate change

If instead of having a discussion you want me to write a blog about how/why I've changed on these issues let me know. 

Relationships matter to me. Family matters to me. Friends matter to me. 

Perfection

Perfection. Societies obsession with it and our demand that it be everywhere, even in our children. More then just then perfection but normalcy. Anything "different" is treated with fear and must be wrong or because we did something wrong. 

When it comes to sexuality, gender and health "different" and "abnormal" are put in categories right/wrong, normal/abnormal. 

How we are born into this world will never been the ideal, we each have something that makes us unique and society has chosen which of these differences is ok and which isn't. How many parents decided to abort after finding out the baby isn't healthy? If there was a test to see if the child is LGBT how many would abort? 

Why can't society change its expectations instead of we the people playing God and acting like everyone is meant to be a circle  when in reality humans come in all shapes.

Instead of judging a human that is going through something you've never had to deal with try responding with love, empathy and kindness. 

Not everyone is born straight, the gender they were supposed to be, with the health or body you think is "ideal". We are all unique and it's time we celebrate the fact instead of playing "us" vs. "them". 

Homophobia and transphobia kill

I've been wanting to write about this since I read this article from a pastor https://intheparlor.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/what-you-believe-about-homosexuality-doesnt-matter/.   It's something that needs to be said because kids are dying and will continue to die if we don't change, yes change is happening but not nearly fast enough. We don't have time to wait for the next generation, THIS generation needs be educated when it comes to the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and transgender) community. 

You will not be able to control if your child is LGBT, no amount of good or bad parenting "turns a child gay" I've made this point previously but I will say it again, It's not a choice and even if they never hear the word homosexual or understand what it means (virtually impossible now a days) they will still be who they are. 

If you are homophobic at home what are the chances your LGBT child will feel open to coming out to you? I sadly know friends who lost their son to suicide. He never gave them the chance to change their opinions, they had no clue how their views where affecting him. 

If LGBT children are raised in a homophobic culture and/or home the chance of self harm is enormous. I will be posting links at the bottom with link about statics of suicide attemps of LGBT youth and young adults. Chances of bullying and violence done too them are also huge. The stats are even worse if its transphobia. 

"SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES

FACTS ABOUT SUICIDE

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24.

• Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24. [1] 

• LGB youth are 4 times more likely, and questioning youth are 3 times more likely, to attempt suicide as their straight peers. [2] 

• Suicide attempts by LGB youth and questioning youth are 4 to 6 times more likely to result in injury, poisoning, or overdose that requires treatment from a doctor or nurse, compared to their straight peers. [3] 

• Nearly half of young transgender people have seriously thought about taking their lives, and one quarter report having made a suicide attempt. [4] 

• LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection. [5] 

• 1 out of 6 students nationwide (grades 9-12) seriously considered suicide in the past year. [6] 

• Suicide attempts are nearly two times higher among Black and Hispanic youth than White youth. [7] 

• Each episode of LGBT victimization, such as physical or verbal harassment or abuse, increases the likelihood of self-harming behavior by 2.5 times on average. [8]"

-http://www.thetrevorproject.org/pages/facts-about-suicide

What you say does matter, if your beliefs and opinions are hurting people because they are prejudice and hateful please keep them to yourself. Do you want to be the reason someone doesn't want to go on living? Is love something you can show towards another human being instead? 

http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf

http://ontario.cmha.ca/mental-health/lesbian-gay-bisexual-trans-people-and-mental-health/

http://www.yspp.org/about_suicide/statistics.htm

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/nov/19/young-transgender-suicide-attempts-survey

http://www.healthyplace.com/gender/glbt-mental-health/homosexuality-and-suicide-lgbt-suicide-%E2%80%93-a-serious-issue/

http://m.huffpost.com/ca/entry/1268709

From homophobe to straight ally - my journey

This is not a debate or a theological discussion. This is my journey from a ignorant, sheltered, ex IFB baptist, homophobe to a loving, kind, accepting human being who believes and fights for equal rights for everyone.

My first huge step in this journey was realizing you're born gay/straight/bi/trans etc. it's a big deal. I would say 99% of homophobic people argue this point. They're born straight so everyone else is too right? Pure ignorance but let's continue. There are many people in the lgbt community that helped me come to that conclusion, people who grew up like I did, very religious, some still Christian AND gay (SHOCKER) yes gay Christians exist.

Still I would have classified myself a homophobe. I knew it wasn't a choice who they were attracted to, yet I still had those incriminating bible verses floating around in my head. That made me look at the bible a lot more closely and objectively. Long story short I came to realize people like quoting one verse and ignoring the next five. The bible has been used for hatred for hundreds of years and I got sick of it. If that was the only reason I would have prejudice against innocent people just trying to love other people then I was the worst Christian ever. It's time we realize the bible is greatly lacking when it comes to examples of human rights, equality, science and more then anything morals. It's not just the Old Testament it's the New as well. Do not quote verses at me, you won't like the ones I throw back at you. I can play bible sword fights with the best of them. 

I'm a Canadian. I'm proud we have marriage equality in our country and have had it for years, most Christians in my area have no clue, why? Nothing has changed in their lives because of it. The world has continued to go on. 

Some of stories that helped open my eyes:

http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2012/01/freedom-from-strongholds/

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/johnshore/2014/05/southern-baptist-pastor-accepts-his-gay-son-changes-his-church/

https://homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/i-am-trans-and-i-am-beautiful-haley/

I have a lot more to say on this subject but for today this is it. 

Sexism harms men too

To the man in my life who didn't pursue a career as a chef because the sexist nature in this community.

To my brother who was almost denied an education because he was a boy and high school would be "too tempting". 

To the fathers I know whose roles have been stunted and diminished because they are just "the dad", "an extra child", "incompetent to care for a child", you're grown ups. You can do everything your wife can besides breastfeed. Your role as a parent is just as important! 

To the men and boys in my life who've been told repeatedly that they are weak for crying, perverted for looking and admiring feminine beauty and shamed for natural impulses and regular behavior. 

Gender inequality hurts men too. Men can help, please go to http://www.heforshe.org and sign the petition. 

To the men who call themselves feminists in my life, I applaud you. We need you. We can make a difference. 

Listening to Emma Watson's heforshe conversation on Facebook today has been so illuminating, I encourage everyone to watch the series (links on her Facebook page) https://www.facebook.com/emmawatson